Four
Lads on tour
You might have noticed that I wasn’t really around in April, or you might not have (this blog has a wide international audience of course; if my far-flung readership knew I wasn’t at home for a few weeks that would probably be cause for concern. Still, I suppose the gossip magazines have to fill their pages with something…)
Moving swiftly on, as an athlete racing only takes up a very small portion of your time, and is probably the last thing anyone wants to hear about… ‘uh yeh, I lost again, swam like a brick, my bike didn’t have round enough wheels, I ran the wrong way etc…’
So, here before you lies a number of hotel/journey reviews and evaluations, seeing as I have spent a great deal more time travelling and sleeping than racing and training over the last month. Feel free to be just as bored by this as you would a regular race report, although I promise I won’t talk about failed nutritional strategies and the dreaded 'bonk', if that’s any incentive to read on.
(Insert funny airbnb review related caption here)
Melilla. Pension Holidays – One night
I arrived at this delightful little hideaway to find the reception still under construction, however this did not dampen the mood as I was met by a lovely man with a very official looking notepad, ready and waiting to check me in. I’m not sure if it was the weed smokers outside or the spaced out hoodie in the room opposite that first alerted me to the mildly sinister ambience of the place.
Having come expecting a bunch of harmless pensioners it appeared we’d miscalculated and instead arrived at the heart of Melilla’s narcotic distribution centre.
But I’d paid my money and, being the stubborn man I am, I pressed on and proceeded to attempt to make myself comfortable in my room.
Whilst slightly disconcerted by the fact that I couldn’t open one of the cupboards, bearing in mind the welcome I’d had thus far, I found the decor to be quite pleasant, in a ‘well at least I can lock and barricade the door’ kind of way.
I settled down and decided to give the place a quick google. Nothing out of the ordinary apart from a picture of dead body being wheeled out of premises not 6 weeks prior to my arriving there. Having said this, however, the owners seem to have made an effort to re-establish their previously untainted image by repainting the sign in a different colour.
I managed a full one night of my planned three before deciding I could never be good enough to stay at this magnificent establishment and promptly left. Good luck.
Pension Holidays this way →
Hotel Rusidar, Melilla – Two nights
There isn’t much to say about this other than that our lives were probably saved by moving here. Bed good, shower good, breakfast good, staff friendly, bikes secure…
My life felt dramatically less threatened, other than a brief adrenaline fuelled foray back to the dreaded Pension Holidays to try and retrieve some contact lenses I left there…. why just why Brian….I had a pretty nice stay.
Bring me donuts
Melilla – Malaga Ferry – One whole day
Pretty dry, which is ironic considering we were on a boat. This option should be a last resort, unless you really enjoy being told you can’t sleep by an angry guard and love boat hide and seek. Most of the time here was spent figuring out why I got destroyed in the race, so as you can probably imagine that lightened the mood somewhat.
Remember Melilla? Yeh that place was actually alright...
Malaga University accommodation, Malaga – One night
Little sleep was had here, but not for lack of needing it. Having stepped off the ferry at about 8 pm we decided it best to check in, dump our stuff and hit the town for a big post-race night out.
Of course it was a Monday night and the best Malaga had to offer wasn’t quite Ibizia in season but I was mostly too tired to notice. The room was small and one person lifts don't mix well with bike boxes it was cheap. Malaga is probably quite a nice place to visit too, I couldn’t tell you.
Nothing pension about this
Pollenca, Mallorca – Nine nights
I arrived at this delightful eight-person villa just a 40 minute taxi ride away from Palma airport, stunningly set close to the mountains, the sea and all things conducive to a successful two-week smash up training camp.
This is probably what the brochure said, and anyone can tell you this. They don’t tell you there’s a venue worthy of the ping pong world champs; an array of sun loungers placed in a delightful suntrap overlooking the pool which is the perfect temperature for a quick dip to cool down post sunbathe; and a kitchen equipped with enough mugs for a small army to have a brew mid-yomp. Needless to say, you won’t get caught in the rain whilst sipping a Pina Colada here and there are many choices of things to do at midnight. Maybe I'm overselling it...
Get me back to that pool
Our experience of the place was akin to that of a very long hilly ride. We arrived buzzing to get going, clean and fresh, ready to hit the proverbial mountains. Small motivational knocks came and went, such as a lack of English speaking TV channels and few adequately sized cereal bowls. ‘Major obstacles’ presented themselves in the form of a leaky sink and the unrelenting resolve of our insect neighbours, but we pressed on towards the top of the mountain with all we had. Relief came in the form of two delightful cleaners who restored the villa to it’s former glory, on more than one occasion, to our great joy, just as if we’d smashed it down lluc, on the limit on every corner but making it to the bottom safely, grinning widely.
Where's the cafe lads?
The provision of a car was gratefully received as is a chocolate Oreo at the top of Sa Calobra and the local ‘secret bay’ of Calle St. Vincent was equally as magnificent, if you stay here and don’t swim there you might as well go to Egypt for your next trip and give the pyramids a miss.
On a scale of one to the view from Cap de Formentor this was a solid 8.7. Would recommend.
This photo wasn't staged, I promise.
An honourable mention should go to my travel companion, Will, who was there through all the good and bad times, as well as the rest of the lads: Miles, Hayden and Luke, who joined us in Mallorca.
Mum stop texting me, I'm an adult and busy doing grown up things now...
Wow you read the whole thing, good job! Let me know I’ll buy you a chocolate bar.
Ciao
Three
Alright pals, January is almost over (phew) and despite my best intentions and efforts it hasn’t been a dry one.
Yes, I’ve been rained on at least once a week and it’s been miserable at times but what can I say, some resolutions just aren’t possible to keep.
The best solution to terrible weather is, of course, to avoid it entirely! To that end I’ve written my top tips for a fun filled winter training camp. So be prepared to be both entertained and educated*
How to enjoy a training camp
Go somewhere nice
Pick a location that is easy to get to, has everything you need to train, and is guaranteed to have great weather.
Things to avoid include: Rain, cold, bike hating drivers, civil unrest, international terrorism, significant threat from natural disasters, and wind to name just a few. Wind probably poses the greatest threat to your mental well-being out of that list…
A particularly windy day on the moon
Pack well
Some stuff really isn’t necessary, for example spare inner tubes are just excess weight when you’re striving to stay under that Ryanair 30kg limit. This is especially the case when you don’t have spare valve extenders for those badass deep rims you were planning to break in. Why change a flat when you can hitch a ride with some Germans in a tiny hire car? YOLO
On the flipside, that temptation to shove your teddy bear under the covers at 5am when rushing to leave the house to catch an early flight should be firmly resisted. They’ve been there for you through thick and thin for your whole life, and not everyday on camp is going to be a breeze. So chuck them in, moral support is everything.
Take mates
Preferably fulfilling two conditions: They are slower than you, they have quality chat.
Not much explanation needed to qualify this point, you’ll discover why.
Good chat but too fast, must be the OTE...
Invest time and effort into quality entertainment
Whilst we all know training is incredibly exciting almost all the time, there are occasional days when you need something to look forward to. The last hour of a five-hour ride, or even a sixty-minute swim for that matter, can be very tough.
You might think that brainless, sleep-inducing rubbish is the way to go here, but this strategy is short sighted. It will get you to sleep on time but when conversation dries up on that Sunday long run you need common ground to unite over.
So, prepare yourself for the inevitable crash with some thought provoking, highly entertaining Netflix originals and movies. Multiple part conspiracy shows or murder mysteries are a great place to start.
Ran out out of chat, ran up a hill
Have some terrible jokes tucked away for the darkest moments.
I mean the absolute darkest, you’ll know when the time is right, bring these out too early and everyone will hate you, time it right and you will be a hero.
Jokes didn't work, but cake did
Take highly amateur bike selfies, ALL THE TIME
Case and point:
But make sure you limit your Instagram posts to one a day.
(From each of the accounts you manage…)
The fun never stops
Get a professional photographer to follow you and your pals around
Cheers James: https://www.instagram.com/jamesmitchell5/
Well you’re only there to make everyone else jealous, right?...
*Entertainment and education not guaranteed, for a more fun-filled educational activity try Scrabble
Two
Winter training has well and truly kicked off and I’ve been doing lots of swimming cycling and running, but in the spirit of Test Match Special, the less said about the cricket (triathlon), the more entertaining the programme. So here is some thought stimulating material to enjoy should your TV stop working, or you are exhausting all avenues of possible procrastination before starting that awful piece of coursework.
Many people have different opinions on the purpose of sport; for some it’s about passion, agony, ecstasy (not doping, why are you so cynical!), for others it’s the subject of very real trauma – think scrawny 7yr old left to crack on with P.E. in sub-zero temperatures wearing nothing but shorts and a t-shirt, but that’s another story…
Recently I was made aware of a purpose for sport that I had not previously considered which had me contemplating my situation. (Deep stuff I know, you thought it was all going to be rubbish jokes didn’t you… sorry).
Sport is basically a very intense version of real life, played out over two forty-five minute halves, or four eight minute quarters, or as is often the case for me a swim, a bike ride and a run. There are stressful parts, bad times, good times, sunshine, moonlight, boogie… wait lost track.
You get the idea, the implication of this, however, is that sport can be used as a relatively safe testing ground within which to understand how we act in, and react to, various situations. Therefore we are able to learn where we thrive, and when we might be prone to making mistakes. This is all well and good when the consequences of your sporting actions have relatively low impact.
But what if sport is your life? By which I mean your conduct on the field of play or the performance of one of your athletes dictates your life circumstances? Does this perceived privilege mean foregoing your right to use the aforementioned testing ground? Is this a corruption of the founding principles on which sport was built? I’m not so sure, but for my full-time athlete readership (I’m sure there are loads of you…) It’s maybe something to consider.
I realise that all I’ve really done is throw more big questions out there, and I still don’t even know the answer to the Ambulance one from the first blog. But I’d like to use this opportunity to share the reason why I love my sport.
I am a Christian, and I believe God created the world and my body, both of which are there for me to enjoy. I also believe I can glorify God through sport, meaning I can use the gifts he has given me to the best of my ability as an act of thanks to him for giving them to me. Simply put, I love sport and I love that God created it for me to enjoy.
This gives me security as an athlete, knowing that I can, and should, give my best every day for God and be confident that, whatever the outcome of my efforts, I am still loved and valued by the creator of the universe!
This may be something you agree with or it may seem completely ridiculous to you, either way I hope it’s been interesting and I’ve at least given you something to think about, I promise there will be more jokes in the next one…
Ciao for now.
Sorry nearly forgot, customary photo of me doing some sporting activity (one of the darker times in the last month)
One
How to Write a Blog
So there comes a time in everyone’s life where they start to ask life’s big questions: how did I come to be here? Where is the love? If an ambulance is on the way to an emergency and it runs someone over, does it stop to help? If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
Much to ponder.
But, as an athlete, there is an ultimate question, the one thing that burns in the back of your mind, that eats away at you, keeps you awake at night.
“Should I write a blog”
This, in many cases, is born from the combination of two things. An abundance of time spent ‘recovering’ watching ‘Friends’ curled up on the sofa whilst your actual friends are at work. As well as an undying need to share how hard you are training with the aforementioned peer group to help ease the guilt that arises when gainful employment becomes the topic of conversation.
Of course, as a reader, there is somewhat of a performance to content relationship to consider when wading into this minefield of online content written on 4 hours sleep post Ironman sitting on the floor of an overcrowded airport wondering what atrocities are currently being committed to your beloved bicycle by disgruntled tired baggage handlers.
Let me explain: you may be very interested to hear what the best athletes in the world are up to despite it being clearly evident that they were not blessed with the ability to write elegant Shakespearean prose. Conversely there are less athletically talented individuals who could probably have coaxed a few giggles out of Hilary Clinton on election night given the chance.
Given the above, I have decided with much trepidation, to throw my two cents into the Blogosphere. But taking the average blog reader’s* needs into account, I must do what any self-respecting person does when teaching themselves to do something. Ask google.
My extensive search for wisdom in this area culminated in a useful six step guide to blog writing excellence:
Step 1: Understand your audience.
See asterisk…
Step 2: Start with a topic and working title
Probably triathlon related, ‘Triathlon related blog’, probably needs work…
Step 3: Write an intro (and make it captivating).
If you’ve made it this far then box ticked
Step 4: Organize your content
Let’s face it, it’s about triathlon, no amount of highlighting rearranging or funky theming is going to make it interesting
Step 5: Write!
Finally, an easy one, this is taking forever, where’s the coffee…
Step 6: Edit/proofread your post, and fix your formatting.
No chance, dinner’s in an hour and I haven’t even been to the shops yet.
Well I hope you found that interesting, watch this space for more scintillating content the next time I find myself with a free hour and there’s nothing good on TV, here's a picture of me doing exercise in the mean time. Ciao for now!
*No one is going to read this but my mother, don’t worry I get it.